


Mistake

by h1nata



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-22 00:08:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12469060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/h1nata/pseuds/h1nata
Summary: Keith made a mistake.





	1. 01

**Author's Note:**

> i give up!! i'm going to be self-indulgent & use my ocs!!!
> 
> also, fuck it!! i just might be a keith stan!!!!! ahhhhh!!!!!!!!

_‘I made a mistake. I make a mistake. I made a mistake. I make a mistake. I made a mistake. I make a mistake. I made a mistake. I make a mistake. I made a mistake. I make a mistake. I made a mistake. I make a mistake. I made a mistake. I make a mis…’_

 

Keith fumbled with his phone, hands shaky and uncooperative; his eyes were brimming with tears and his breathing was heavy—panicked.

 

_      ‘This is all my fault, why am I acting like a victim? I chose to do it, and yet….I feel so gross. Why, why, why, wh—’ _

 

“Keith? Wassup?” Kyla’s voice filtered into Keith’s ears and it almost relaxed him. Almost.

 

“I-I made a mistake, a big mistake,” Keith’s voice cracked and he could hear Kyla shifting on the other end of the phone. “I don’t feel good. I feel gross and stupid. I  _ am _ gross and stupid. God, I’m disgusting. I’m the worst.”

 

“Woah, calm down, babe.” Kyla helped Keith breathe a bit slower, patient as ever (when it really counted). Keith took deep breaths, and managed to calm down considerably, but he still felt off. “Alright, now, what do you mean by you made a mistake?”

 

“I—Do you remember that guy I told you about?”

 

“The unnaturally, super suave one who was way too old and shifty?” Kyla questioned back, unease filling her stomach.

 

Keith groaned softly at the description, his mind racing once more. “Y-yeah…” He trailed off, finger curling harshly into his shirt. He should have listened to Kyla when he had the chance.

 

“What about him?” Kyla pressed quietly when Keith didn’t continue.

 

“Ihadsexwithhim.”

 

Silence.

 

Keith heard Kyla open and close her mouth several times, trying to form the right words, and then she finally spoke, because she knew Keith wasn’t going to.

 

“Keith….did you  _ actively _ decide to have sex with him? Or did he try to convince you that you wanted it first? Did he make you seem like you were sending signals and that he was just responding to them?”

 

“I….He did some of that….maybe…..I don’t know….” Keith tried to think back, but the images of what he did made him feel sick to his stomach. “Ky, I don’t like the way I feel right now. I feel disgusting.”

 

“Do you want me to come over? I’ll bring over some food and we can watch your fave motorcycle repair videos. I don’t want to ignore this, but I think it’s best if you don’t think about it right now.” Kyla sounded like she was already getting ready to come over, and Keith managed a small huff of laughter.

 

“What kinda food are you planning to bring over?”

 

“I couldn’t decide between Chinese or Korean, so I might do both,”

 

“Are you going to the places by your guys’ house or our house?” Keith’s interest was piqued. He hoped she said the ones by her house because the quality of food there is a lot better than his.

 

“Uh, neither. I’m going to the ones by the school,” Kyla pulled the phone away to announce that she was leaving for a while, the door clicking shut behind her.

 

“That’s a long drive….” Keith moved to curl up in bed, wrapping his blanket around him tight. He should tidy up a bit and tell Shiro that someone was coming over, but he couldn’t be bothered. He felt tired.

 

“It’s worth it. I’m trying to make you feel  _ hella _ better, not  _ just _ better.”

 

“I can’t believe you still say hella,” Keith chuckled sleepily.

 

“Hey, it’s a very useful word!” Kyla got into the car and started it up. The low hum of the engine through the phone was like a lullabye to Keith. “Alright, I’m gonna hang up now. See you in a bit with the best food ever. Tonight, we eat like kings!”

 

“S’not even nighttime…” Keith mumbled into the phone. Kyla laughed and shook her head on the other side, saying a quick ‘bye’ before hanging up. Keith stared at his phone—at Kyla’s contact picture, specifically—then closed his eyes. He kept the image in his mind, trying to avoid thinking about the  _ incident _ .

 

_      ‘I’m not disgusting, I’m not disgusting, I’m not disgusting….’ _ Keith repeated in his mind, over and over again, until he fell asleep.


	2. 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith learns that his only mistake was trusting _him_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh this got a bit more serious than i intended it to; this is the first time i've written something like this, so sorry if it reads awkwardly. i usually avoid serious subjects, but this just happened so jkdwjls
> 
> OH, ALSO, **TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of suicidal thoughts & sexual assault**. can't believe i almost forgot that!

     “So,” Kyla started after their conversation had slowed to a lull. Keith’s body tensed, but Kyla wrapped her arm around him and pulled him close. “do you think you’re okay to tell me what happened now?”

 

     Keith took a deep breath and rested his head on Kyla’s. He watched her fingers play with his and it soothed him. “Well, I was feeling particularly bad when it happened. You know, lately I’ve been feeling….off. A dangerous kind of off. So I was talking to him about how I felt, and he kept getting closer and closer to me as I was talking. I thought he was comforting me, but….”

 

     “He was being a insensitive and disgusting snake.” Kyla finished. Keith chuckled and agreed.

 

     “Anyways, when I stopped talking, I looked at him for help, but he just kissed me. I tried to move away and tell him that I didn’t want to make out, but he just moved closer and kept kissing me. He told me that he could make me feel better through actions better than he could with words, so I let him. We made out, but he just….kept touching me. This time I actually got up and moved away from him, telling him that I absolutely did not want to keep going where he wanted to go.”

 

     “This is starting to sound more and more like he forced you into sex. Keith—” Kyla’s heart raced as she sat up, but she didn’t have a chance to continue as Keith pulled her back and leaned into her.

 

     “I-I know, but let me tell you everything first.”

 

     “I don’t know how much more I need to hear, or want to, but yes, you should continue…”

 

     “So,” Keith let out a shuddery sigh. “I told him I didn’t want to go there, that I didn’t know if I could. But he just told me that I did, and that if I didn’t, then I wouldn’t have come over looking so pitiful and….sexy…..” Keith’s breathing was getting irregular. “I tried to tell him that that wasn’t it, that he was being ridiculous, but he told me that I was blushing and that I wasn’t really pushing him away, so he was right. So, at that point, I just—I just gave up. I let him kiss me, I let him touch me, I had sex with him. I didn’t like it. I still don’t like it. I hate myself more than I did before I went over, and I want to kill myself more than I did before, too.”

 

     “Keith….none of that was a mistake on your part. That was all him; he pressured you for a fuck when you were at your lowest. He took advantage of you. He knew you wouldn’t have given in any other time, that you’d have put up a fight, because you’re strong and you know what you don’t want.”

 

     Keith scoffed, more so at himself than at Kyla. “I’m not strong. If I were strong, I wouldn’t be like this. I would be confident and self-assured, I would be able to go through every day like it was nothing. Instead, I feel like I’m drowning in my own mind. Nothing but dangerous, negative thoughts pouring over me constantly until I feel like I can’t breathe. I’m not like, I don’t know, Lance or Shiro. Those two are strong.”

 

     “First of all, Lance and Shiro aren’t the supermen you think they are. Secondly, and most importantly, you are strong, Keith. You don’t go facing every day producing sunshine from your own face, but you do face every day. You get up, you take care of yourself, you go to school, you hang out with friends, and you do it all over again despite how you feel. Instead of acting on your dangerous thoughts, you went to seek help. It didn’t end great, but you did go to someone, at the very least. I just….I can’t believe you put your everything out there for him, and he just ignored you. Like, that’s way beyond asshole!”

 

     Keith snorted, covering his mouth immediately in an attempt to hold in his laughter. “Why did you have to say it like that?”

 

     Kyla rolled her eyes, but she laughed as well. “Seriously, Keith?” Keith’s laughter managed to slip out every now and again, despite his attempts at holding it. Kyla shook her head and they both shared a good laugh together. “Anyways, to get back on topic—did you, like, block the guy from your entire life yet? If not, I’ll gladly do it for you!”

 

     “Here, go nuts. Although, at this point, I think I might just get a new phone and number all together. I feel like he is the kind of guy to snoop around until he can find me again….” Keith handed over his phone with a sigh. Putting the idea out there made his stomach turn again. He was getting tired of this emotional rollercoaster he’s been on.

 

     “You know the girls and I would gladly chip in…..oh, which reminds me in the most roundabout way—” Kyla looked up from Keith’s phone, her face serious. Keith had a bad feeling about this. “Are you going to tell Shiro?”

 

     Keith’s breath caught in his chest. He had thought about it several times, but for the most part, he wanted nothing more than to move past this whole situation. That, and he didn’t exactly know how to tell Shiro about the situation without mentioning several embarrassing points: his poor mental health, his sexuality, his nonexistent sex life which would seem existent despite his claims of it not being so. It was like an avalanche of uncomfortable topics Keith wasn’t sure he and Shiro were ready to have a heart-to-heart about.

 

     “I don’t know, it’s….it’s a lot to talk about,” Keith’s face contorted into something unpleasant at the thought of laying—what he deems his biggest secrets—out on the table for all to see. “I mean, Shiro knows I’m...gloomy, but I don’t think he knows to what extent this all goes. Also, we’re both not really the relationship—or partnership—types, so it’s not something we’ve discussed. We don’t really discuss anything, now that I think about it. I mean, we’re close, of course, but other than that…..I don’t think we’ve really talked about deep emotions and things.”

 

     “Then I think this is a chance to start? I mean, you don’t have to tell him about the gaping asshole you were forced to fuck, but you can talk about your mental health at the very least. Like I said before, I don’t know Shiro very well, but I don’t think he’s as well-put together as he seems…..not saying that in a bad way!” Kyla laughed, covering her face for a moment before continuing. “I think, if anything, you two can connect there. Build a good foundation before you get a bit deeper. But I also think you should tell him about the situation soon. I feel like the longer it goes by, then the more upset he’ll be about it.”

 

     Keith took a deep breath and splayed himself over Kyla silently and without warning, causing her to laugh and hug him close. “You’re right, but I’m just so scared. I’ve been a scared mess this whole time. I had so many other people I could’ve went to, and yet I refused to listen to reason, and I still went with the worst guy ever. I know you said it wasn’t my fault, but I really feel like I just fucked up big time, and that I have no reason to complain. I mean, he was right, I did go over there—”

 

     “Keith, I know you didn’t just say the he was right.”

 

     “But,  _ he was _ !” Keith shouted in frustration, shooting up and running his hands through his hair. His eyes brimmed with tears and the feelings were catching back up to him. Keith paced around the room, mumbling through his sobs and Kyla simply watched and listened. And then there was a knock on the door.

 

     “Um, are you two okay?” Shiro popped his head in cautiously, scanning the room with a slight frown. “Keith? Why are you crying?” Shiro excused himself quietly as he stepped into the room and went over to the younger male, wrapping his arms around Keith in a tight hug. Kyla smiled as the two shared a moment, figuring that she should go.

 

     “Wait, Ky, don’t go!” Keith’s voice was broken, but urgent, and he pulled away from Shiro to go over to the girl. “I’m sorry for yelling, also please don’t go yet, I need your support for this.”

 

     “I know you weren’t yelling at me, babe, so it’s okay.” Kyla pinched Keith’s cheek before going sitting back down on Keith’s bed. “Alright, emotional support is ready.”

 

     “Shiro, I’ve got a lot to confess to you…” Keith started, turning back towards Shiro with his head low.

 

     “That sounds ominous and unsettling, but go on?” Shiro shifted, crossing his arms over his chest. Keith still wasn’t looking at him, preferring to watch his hands nervously fiddle with each other instead.

 

     “Okay, so, first, I just want to say that I’m not okay. Mentally. Or emotionally. Just—not ok in general. Secondly, I’m not straight, but not entirely gay either. I’m not sure exactly where I fall, it’s a gray area. Ky has been helping me with figuring everything out, though.”

 

     “I would like to interject and let you know that you unintentionally made a sick aro-ace joke. That is all.” Kyla giggled then zipped her lips shut.

 

     “Keith, not to belittle your feelings, but you didn’t need to stress out over telling me these things. We’re like family, you know that I’ll support you no matter what you’re going through or who you find yourself to be.” Shiro smiled and patted Keith on his shoulder.

 

     “That’s not all.”

 

     “Damnit,” Shiro sighed and moved to sit on Keith’s bed, leaving a space between him and Kyla for Keith to sit as well.

 

     “Sorry.” Keith sat between the two, his hand immediately searching for Kyla’s.

 

     “It's fine, you don't have to be sorry, but quick question. You’re not going to tell me you got Kyla pregnant, are you?” Shiro looked stressed, and Kyla couldn’t help but laugh.

 

     “God, no! I’m not ever gonna—actually, just, no.” Kyla waved the thought away, easing Shiro’s mind a bit.

 

     “I did have sex though.” Keith blurted out before he could change his mind. “I didn’t like it, nor did I even want it in the first place, but it happened. I let him talk me into it.” Shiro’s face darkened, and Keith squeezed Kyla’s hand.

 

     “You were sexually assaulted?” Shiro’s voice came out shaky, and it took both Keith and Kyla by surprise.

 

     “No, I wasn’t hurt or anything….” Keith explained, confused.

 

     “Keith, sexual assault is more than what it sounds like it is. You don’t have to be physically hurt for it to be sexual assault. If he convinced you to have….relations with him, then it still counts. Especially if you didn’t want it.”

 

     “I thought so, but I wasn’t sure.” Kyla spoke up, her face also darkened. “I’m really gonna kick this guy’s ass now. I’m so angry! What the fuck!”

 

     “Ky, calm down,” Keith brought the girl closer to him. “but, wow….I didn’t think this was that serious….what do I do?” Keith looked towards Shiro, eyes shining with tears ready to be shed again.

 

     “Don’t worry, Keith. We’ll handle it tomorrow. We’ll go by the station and report this guy, and I’m not sure if they’ll let me deal with the arrest since we’re close, but either way, this fucker is getting arrested.” Shiro got up from the bed, stiff with anger; however, he turned towards Keith and softened. “Thank you for trusting me, Keith. I promise we’ll talk about everything else after this issue is dealt with, and you’ve had some time to cool down from it all. But you did a really brave and strong thing, I admire that.” Shiro ruffled Keith’s hair and waved to Kyla before leaving the room.

 

     Kyla laid back and let out a long sigh. "That was stressful. However! I told you that you were strong.” Keith laid back as well, and Kyla turned toward him with a small smile after he did so. “How do you feel?”

 

     “I’m still in a weird place, honestly. I don’t know if this being dealt with will make me feel better, since it still happened. But telling Shiro how I felt, and knowing that we’ll be talking things out eventually, feels kinda good. I guess. I’ll probably hate it, and dread it, though.”

 

     “Understandable.” Kyla made a face, and the two stared at the ceiling for a moment in silence. “All that emotional stress made me hungry again.”

 

     “Yeah, let’s keep eating.” The two got up and went over to the small table in front of Keith’s television, turning the television back on to cartoons as they stuffed their faces with food once more.


End file.
